Deconstruction

A few days ago I wrote The Perfect Imperfection.

I wrote a blog a day since. This is out of character for me for multiple reasons.

I usually want to review over and over. Change… rearrange continuously… Have someone review and approve. Then review it myself again and again. This can take days or even weeks. And then after weeks, doubt and fear of judgement sets in and I end up not publishing it at all.

After I wrote The Perfect Imperfection, I unconsciously started working on something that came up during one of my classes with my incredible teacher, Christina De Freitas. Deconstruction. Deconstructing some of my thoughts, emotions or some of my traits.

Last few blogs I wrote, I wrote quickly with minimal review and didn’t look for outside approval before publishing.  Slowly deconstructing my quest for perfection and my fear of judgement.

1. 42 – The answer to everything – I wrote this on my 42th birthday. As simple as what I wrote is, I wouldn’t have published this a few weeks ago out of fear.
2. No place I’d rather be – This one deconstructed both perfectionism and the fear of judgement. I would normally have taken days to film the perfect scenes and then days or weeks to cut and move pieces. I decided to let go… just go out and start filming. My nephew and I edited it in under an hour. What was important wasn’t really how the video looked, it was the intent and the message behind it. Before publishing the video, I was afraid of what people would think of the message or the result. But I overcame that irrational fear and just did it.
3. Laser Focus – Here I talk about something I don’t understand well. I feared I would be all wrong in how I understand or explain it. Then, I just didn’t care if it’s right or wrong. It just felt right at the time and I went ahead.

Letting go, not overthinking and deconstructing some of our deep rooted thoughts and emotions is quite liberating.